"How Not To Write A Novel" by Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman is a thrilling and inspirational work that describes step-by-step every mistake you should make if you DON'T want your novel to be published, or perhaps what to avoid if you DO want it published. Very rarely will you find a book that is bursting at the seams with information, yet laugh out loud funny at the same time!
However, this book is not for the faint of heart. Brief language and sexual content peek their heads in every now and then, but nevertheless many make-or-break tips, such as "driving at high speed toward a brick wall usually ends badly" are offered.
Tidbits like these aren't tucked away in a corner where you will have to dig to find them. They are the very heart of the book, and are written in a way even the most simple minded individual can find and use them.