Guess what? IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! That's right, and as I'm sure you're just DYING for another Chatterbox edition of A Day In the Life, I figured, what better way to celebrate than to tell you about the incredibly stupid things I've managed to accomplish? And thus, here I am, about to reveal what a complete idiot I am to the entirety of the internet.
Click "Read More" to see!
- Once, I ran out of glue that came with my fake eyelashes on prom day and, in a panic, I grabbed a tube of super glue. For anyone who is considering this, I implore of you to NOT do this, EVER. Not only does it not work as well as one might think, but your eyes will burn to the point where you truly believe that a trip to the ER is in order. Thankfully, I got the burning to stop, and went to prom fake-eyelashless. Moral of the story: don't play with superglue.
- I am Phonophobic, meaning I am terrified of certain pitches of exceedingly loud noises. For example: a gunshot, dog barking, or explosion doesn't phase me. But other sounds, such as police sirens, alarms, crashes, low flying jets, screaming, and things of that sort panic me so badly that I sometimes break down crying. My family has an alarm in our basement that blares when our basement is in danger of flooding. To save our basement, someone has to rush downstairs and activate the pump...and I hate having to be that person, because the closer I get to that sound, the harder it is for me to keep myself from running away crying.
- When I was about 13 years old, my sister was 11, I wanted to see if it was true that pepper could make someone sneeze. So, I forced my sister to become my guinea pig, and had her lay on the floor while I shook pepper onto her face. After that was unsuccessful, I resorted to literally shoving it up her nose. Needless to say...I only ended up burning her sinuses and giving her a life-long hate for black pepper. She did not end up sneezing until about half an hour later. I think I can safely label that myth "busted".
- When I was barely five years old, my mom experimented with different types of pets to help teach my sister and I about responsibility. One of these was a goldfish...god rest his soul. I was an overly curious child, and one morning I woke up early and took that poor goldfish out of its bowl, waking up my sister, and telling her "check this out, pet it". Goldie died the next day...
- During a family vacation in California, we went to the beach, and while at the beach, I had to relieve my bladder (like any normal human being does), and walked down to the public restroom. When I got there, I plopped myself on the nearest toilet seat just as fast as I could...but immediately realized I had made a huge mistake. When I stood up, I realized I had sat in a huge, vomit-worthy pile of human shit. What kind of sick individual would choose to dump on the toilet seat as opposed to a literal two inches to reach the inside of the freaking bowl is beyond me. I nearly died as I struggled to cleanse myself before leaving the restroom, and I can honestly say that I stood in the ocean for a good deal of time when I returned to my family. It was truly one of the most horrible experiences to ever happen to me.
Looking back, I can see that I am quite the idiot, and quite unlucky to say the least. But I also believe that's part of what makes me fun :) If you'd like to hear more of my misfortunes, please leave a comment. Anything helps, so be sure to share and like this link. (Seriously, share it. Call it your birthday gift to me)
As always, Stay Weird!